Breakin' 3: Electric Douchearoo

In the tradition of Breakin, Krush Groove, and Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo comes this piece of cinematic genius.
Too early to buy tickets on Fandango?

I'm sure Turbo and Ozone are smiling as they look down from Heaven. What? They're still alive? Get the fuck out of here. Maybe that WAS them I saw on the corner of 7th and Arizona Popping and Locking for spare change.

The real question is How does Tracy Morgan NOT get cast in this? If EVER there was a movie that was in his "wheel house" this is it. Check out the trailer.

Anatomy of a Bad Bracket

Lets see:

1. Lost in the quarterfinal of a mediocre conf tournament to a mediocre team
   
2. RPI = 60 something
   
3. Lost 4 of last 5 and 6 of last 9

....this smells like a Deltron Upset Special. Why do I always go into the tournament borderline blind. I live with a certifiable college basketball nut and I've learned nothing.

God i wish it were baseball season already.

Note: My final four is G-Town, Ohio State, Oregon, and Kansas. Not that it matters.

The Citizen Kane of My Youth

Last Week was a momentous week for fans of fine cinema as "Night of the Comet" was finally released on DVD. No word on whether or not it will be coming out on Blu-Ray. Needless to say, It's one of my favorites.

You'd think a movie touting the end of the civilized world due to the planets encounter with Halley's comet would terrify a young buck like myself. Not so much. Sure, its conceivable that my family would've turned into piles of red dust and I'd be all alone...but I'd get to run around Shea Stadium unadulterated. Sounded like a fair trade off for 1986 Del.

(ed note: Young Del wanted nothing to do w/ any form of water after seeing Jaws. I can deal with the end of the world and comets. A great white shark coming out of the bath tub drain...No Thanks.)

So the movie is FINALLY out on dvd and I couldn't be happier.
I can think of one person who can not be pleased though....



You'd think 20+ years would have given the good people at MGM plenty of time to come up with some better cover art. Guess not. Take a look again:

We're talking some serious Acid Washed Camel Toe.

Poor woman has her young crotch in full Slim Goodbody mode.

Sadly this isn't even her lowest point. She also starred in Weekend At Bernies. Hmm, I wonder if that's out on Blu Ray.

The Power is Out

Never once would I have ever thought of drinking Mojitos. Recently I was convinced they were a good time by a friend. That friend knows their shit because they are god damn delicious. My new love affair with them led to the idea of Black Out Saturday. The goal is to drink your drinks at an unhealthy rate much to the disgust of any and all strangers and wait staff. Belligerence is not required but it's not frowned upon either. The initial group set some lofty goals. An unprecedented event as a four man crew (2 men / 2 women) all blacked out the greater part of a Saturday night. I'll take you through the steps.

LEVEL I: The Chill

This is me sober, about to embark on what is now infamously known as "Black Out Saturday".
Ed note: "me sober" is a loose definition as there was already a solid 4 miller / 1 Newcastle base in place. Not really the point. Level one is relaxed banter with a level headed approach and clear cognitive brain functions. This would be your typical non binge drinking level.

Then came the mojito races.

I'll admit i was pushing the others hard. In round two of the mojitos I drank 3 out of 4 of the tabled drinks because I felt the ladies weren't going fast enough.

(that's right ladies, I'm a charmer...get it while you can).

This quick 1-2-3 punch will lead to me saying my soon to be catch phrase of the night: "I love this mojito so much I want to take it out behind a middle school and get it pregnant".

Thank you Tracy Morgan.


LEVEL II: The Glare

Like the arrow was even needed. Totally blatant staring going on. Level II drinkers don't care. They're aware of their surroundings. Some might say too aware. Everything is looking good and the mojitos are working their magic. We already have one documented black out and the night is quite young. You can see it in her eyes. Poor girl. She never had a chance.
(ed note: check out my sweet Rad Racing T-shirt. I like to think thanks to my purchase Crew Jones got to race on HellTrack. Watch out for Hollywood Mike Miranda)


Level III: The Funk


Still going strong but clearly very much un-sober. Physically still passing for a normal person...until the rap comes on. You see, Level 3 Me likes to bust out any and all rap songs from the early to mid 90s'. I'll rap to it with my drink in one hand while the other hand is used to accentuate the lyrics. I'm starting to slip on the words though. I need a hype man like Public Enemy had. Someone to finish off my sentences with authority because my drunk mind is trailing off to the next thought which is usually...

LEVEL IV: The Slap

I guess I'm an ass man, because LEVEL 4 Del loves to smack ass. Good clean fun.


LEVEL 5: The Black Fog creeping in

We've reached critical mass. You can see it in my eyes. The lights are turned off. Anyone who knows me will be able to pinpoint this level very well. My sentences are peppered with "mutha fuckin'. Said in a late 70's Blaxploitation baritone.


LEVEL: ?
....Thank god for digital cameras. From World Cafe we hit another bar, or so we've been told. No one can remember. The camera died long ago and that was the only thing sober enough to document the night. Flash forward to the next day. Waking up at 10am dressed in the nights clothes (shoes included) and looking for some sort of memory of the previous night. We recap and piece together shared memories from our personal fogs and are lucky enough to get some outside help from a sober friend we ran into. Sounds like a good night. Getting a golden sombrero (4 for 4 on blackouts) and avoiding vomit and some sort of nonsense chicken head squabble is unheard of. Chalk it up to good team chemistry and the delicious mojitos.


Sadly, my hangover pancakes at Firehouse tasted like Mojitos. Not a good time.

I went to the gym on Monday night still feeling the hangover. I mentioned to the owner how i was glad that i came even though i was intially dreading it. When he asked why i proceeded to explain Black Out Saturday. No words can do justice to the look of sheer disgust on his face.

GOSH, quit judging me.

My body is a temple...a temple where they serve mojitos all night and then jack in the box at 3am...but a temple none the less.


This saturday the table is reserved. We have 12 slots. All booked. Cash and Mojitos only. The challenge is to have a bigger group and re-create the magic.

Feels like Christimas eve!

ed note: No hood rats were harmed in the making of this blog.

LOST: A Recap

My ordered thoughts about last night's Hurley episode:

1) Soooo, the Dharma guy crashed his hippie van, and his last thought and action before dying was "let me take the key out the ignition"????

2) As bad as Paulo and Nikki are I can live with them...because Nikki is friggin hot.

3) How many times can Jin give Sun one single flower and she be blown away by the romantic gesture. I need to find a girl like this. Seriously.

4) Cheech Marin's toupee in the "Hurley as a skinny kid, who replaces his dad's affection with food flashback" was easily the best part of the episode.

5) Loved Hurley's "Sorry Tricia Tanaka" line.

6) I felt like I was watching "Little Miss Sunshine".

7) We need more Desmond!

8) Eight, i forgot what eight was for

9) Is for progress. Next week's looks like a big one. I like.

10) Is for everything is still much worse on TV. (sans heroes/24)

Bottom line: This was not as good as the Desmond Episode. That said, it was FAR better than the Jack one from last week.

side note: i put on ABC 15 mins before Lost and was forced to watch whatever program was on. Bizarre show.

• Jonathon "Weekend @ Bernie's" Silverman

• David Arquette

• Lori Laughlin (Aunt Becky from "Full House, or for the peeps in the know, Christian from "RAD")

• Jane Seymour (she's certainly created a new career for herself w/ that "call me kitty cat!" line from "Wedding Crashers")

• Kelly Hu (i.e the Hot Girl, who, after IMDB'ing this AM i learned, was the love interest of Mike Seaver in the Hawaiian vacation 2 part episode of "Growing Pains")

I've said too much

Just super odd casting. It was actually kind of funny...for an ABC sitcom that is.