We Are the Champions: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Frisbeer

Last Saturday was the big Cal /UCLA game. LA was abuzz. For months my friends and I had planned an elaborate tailgate w/ tons of food, frisbeer, and flip cup.

The degenerate's alliteration.

Bonus points for it being the UCLA homecoming. It was a guaranteed shit show. Last year was a fall classic...

The tailgate that is, not the game...that was a bit foggy. This year promised to be more of the same. Sadly none of this "planning" incorporated actually looking at the start time for the game or getting tickets. Good to see our priorities were in order. The day before the game I got a ticket head count and hit Craigslist. It turned out everyone wanted $50. I could live w/ that. Sadly I could not live with the game time. Why the fuck would UCLA's homecoming game be played at 12:30pm??? Talk about an extreme disservice to the student body. The head count shrunk exponentially once people learned that they'd be paying $50 to wake up at 9am on a hungover Saturday to watch a game they really didn't care about.

On to plan b.

Plan B consisted of killing our livers on Friday night at Cabo Cantina* and then planning on an all day frisbeer fest** for Saturday.

What you need to know about Frisbeer:

1) Much like wiffleball there is little to no running needed.
2) Much like wiffleball, it is awesome.

Look at that focus!

What you need to get a game going:

• Four people
• Four 3' rebar*** poles
• Four 6'3" PVC poles (large enough to slide over the rebar)
• one frisbee
• beer
  

I was introduced to the game last year and I became an instant fan. Its simplistic nature and its friendliness towards beer makes it the best "made up"**** game since "Cornhole". The gist of the game is as follows:

Teams of two compete against one another in a high stakes game of throwing frisbees at PVC poles to knock cups off....while having beer at all times. The first team up to eleven wins.

Ways to score points:

• knocking a cup off of the PVC pole = 1 point (the point is negated if the other team catches the cup before it hits the ground)
  
• splitting the uprights cleanly w/ the frisbee = 2 points (the points are negated if the other team catches the frisbee after its passed through the uprights)
• knocking a beer out of your opponents hand via a frisbee toss = 3 points
  

I realize I did a craptastic job of describing the game but no words can match the fun of it. I know it sounds like bullshit but trust me. Of course the drinking helps. A game from Saturday instantly joined the hall of fame of sporting events, right next to the US Hockey win over the Soviet Union and Game 6 of the 86' World Series.

Game Recap - After finishing our first 30 pack of beer it was decided whichever team lost would have to go to Strand St and then lug back an iced up dufflebag w/ a new 30 pack. Not a terrible chore by any means...but our opponents relentless smack talk and cockiness made it a must win. They'd been the Yankees circa the late 90s' for the day. A powerhouse team that was ready for an assumed three-peat. As they predicted, much to my chagrin, they got to eleven first. Fortunately like in baseball the home team gets last licks. I of course was up to bat and threw a patented Del floater that was primed and ready to make sweet sweet PVC love. It hit the pipe and sent the cup in the air triumphantly. If the cup hit the ground we would have a sudden death. If they'd caught it, they'd won. Neither happened. The unthinkable occurred. One goon missed the launched cup while the other tackled the other PVC pipe in a drunken attempt to save plummeting cup #1. Awesome teamwork. Both cups hit the ground. Final Score 12-11

The good guys won.

Disney bought the rights to our story.

I had my doubts that the losing team would actually come back with the beer as I'd never seen such a sore reaction to a loss in my life. A combination of blinding rage and petulant pouting. Sad really. I suppose hearing me say "lose w/ some class for once in your lives" maybe helped to further enrage them. It was that intense. Who cares. They eventually came back with the beer and Team Good Guys went on to a four game win streak.

Good times

* Cabo Catina: The new one has an amazing streak of kicking my ass going. True story: I "liquid burped" outside of Cabo a few weeks ago. All over the Promenade. The tourists and panhandlers were quite impressed. Hardly my fault as the terrible food coupled with the buy one get one jager shots and double red bull and vodkas were a recipe for disaster. Thanks to this incident the next time I was there I was introduced to a friend's co workers as "Hey this is the guy who puked on the promenade". Awesome. Line forms to the left ladies.

**fest: As much as I've gone off on the use of "fest" lately it just worked well with the frisbee

***rebar: Its impossible to go to Home Depot and ask "Where can I find the three gauge rebar" with out sounding like complete white trash. I guess asking what aisle the Skoal was on didn't help matters.

Fact: Chicks dig guys who dip...and drive trucks.

****"made up game": My jackass friend asked me if Frisbeer was a "real" or "made up" game. What a deep philosophical question. It sure felt real.