Thursday, October 16, 2008

Slim Goodbody: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Doctor's Orders

“ UM…you might want to consider cutting back your intake so you have ‘real sleep’ "my doctor said after I told him my “social drinking” consisted of or around twelve drinks. My sadly sincere retort was “Drinks? So does that include shots and jaeger bombs?”

I don’t think he was amused.

After step one of the Del Health push for late 2008 hit a setback (the chantix prescription not being covered under my Atena) I moved forward w/ step 2: Going back to the gym. I’ve been paying for a $70/month gym membership that has gone unused for a good portion of the year. Last year I was a machine at the gym. This year, still a machine…but of the soft serve variety. The doctor’s orders for my fatigue were to not give me adderall (This, people, is why I am not a Doctor) and for me to go back the the gym. Yesterday was the first day. I excitedly parked in front and walked up to the glass doors. I was ready to become a new man. However, as i peered into the giant glass entrance I saw that it was empty. I don’t mean “Empty” in the sense that no one was there working out, I mean it was fucking empty. Cleared out. Tumbleweeds. No machines, no bikes, no lockers, no bad music blaring from the sound system. Someone out there doesn’t want me to shed my lifestyle of hazy nights, bleary mornings and winded stairs.

I blame the government.

I guess it's time to break out those Perfect Pushups I call coasters with handles.

related side note: Do they make a chantix for jaeger bombs?

No comments:

Clicky Web Analytics