Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Filth Of July: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Ruining Family Time

How to Ruin a Lake's Worth of Family Vacations in 10 Easy Steps.
(now with pictures and videos)

1) Grow creepy 'staches: Hide the women and children, and the PBR...and the rebar while you're at it.

2) Purchase Big Dog shirts: Not just one for yourself mind you. EVERYONE needs to have one. The worse the slogan on the back, the better. Think back to all the Johnsons /Co-Ed Naked Sports shirts you may or may not have owned in the past. Even better, since you are all in Big Dog shirts you are given license to shout "HEY BIG DAWG" at each other in a Cosmo Kramer voice whenever you'd like.

3) Embrace your inner child: Sure a grown man, sporting a porno 'stache, "floating" on a purple dragon might seem a bit creepy...but hey, at least he wasn't blowing bubbles as he paddled around. Girl with heart sunglasses blowing bubbles = cute. Man w/ 'stache blowing bubbles = the reason things like "Megan's Law" exist.

4) Excessive Drinking: Drink as much as you can, regardless of the intake going on around you. Chug multiple Lake Arrowhead souvenir mugs and then mark your territory the way The Serrano* used to.

5) Nipples: Sex, Hugs, and Violence: If you have a nipple ring, rip it out. If you are wearing a self made Jager tank top, whip it out. If you have a Cougar waiting in the wings, let her lick it out. Damn the families. Their faces will be blurred out in the pics in the same fashion that they will attempt to blur out these nip-isodes.

6)Slam Dance: That is what the 80's were for my friend. You can't rock those classic songs and expect people not to kick ass and take names. Those toddlers dancing? Collateral damage.

7) Waste beer in creepy ways: I'll let the video speak for itself:

Beer Flash Dance from del lefevre on Vimeo.

8) Steal stuffed animals from defenseless pre-teens. Do horrible things to said stuffed animal: Sure the monkey liked it and they exchanged numbers that night. Matt said he'd call..but let's be honest here people, that was just an Arrowhead hook up. Matt ain't calling. Poor monkey.

9) Jaeger Bombs: Offer anyone and everyone Jaeger Bombs. People love that, and if they don't accept, then you're not less accountable for what happens when you drink all the extras. I blame you strangers for making me drink countless Jaeger Bombs.

The Never Ending Question from del lefevre on Vimeo.

10) Dance Off Circle: Thunder Dome Style. Vote for your favorite dance off finishing move in the comments. The Arrowhead families were eerily quiet. I can't figure out why.

Breakin - Dance Off from del lefevre on Vimeo.

Follow these ten surefire steps and you're guaranteed to rule the tiny little town you visit on your next three day weekend. See you in August @ Arrowhead for the Pink Floyd cover band: Which One's Pink.

That band name is worse than anything you've just seen.

Enjoy this full vimeo of the "concert"

Lake Arrowhead 07/05/08 - remix from del lefevre on Vimeo.

And yeah, that was Todd from the Crazy Doggs in that video.

Do the Doggy Bounce!

* Serrano:

Members of the Serrano tribe are part of the Shoshonean subset of the Uto-Aztecan group of Native Americans. Serrano means highlander. They were an offshoot of the Takic people that arrived in Southern California around 2,500 years ago. When the Spanish missionaries came into the region, they helped form the tribal name Serrano, separating them from their neighbors that were designated as the Gabrielino and Kitanemuk.

The Serrano historically populated the San Bernadino Mountains and extended down to the Mojave River region down to the Tejon Creek.


Anonymous said...

Favorite dance move from the Dance Circle: 'The Sprinler' by Del

Anonymous said...

"The Sprinkler"

Deltron3030 said...

Thanks for the props Anonymous.

bluuweb said...

I want a creepy mustache too. And to answer the never ending question.....yeah I'll take a jaegar bomb

ryan said...

The Serrano originally used "Liquid Burps"?....Interesting

Anonymous said...

"Come in here dear boy have a cigar, you're gonna go far, you're gonna fly high, you're never gonna die, you're gonna make it if you try, they're gonna love you. Well, I've always had a deep respect and I mean that most sincerely. The fan is just fantastic, that is really what I think. Oh by the way, Which One's Pink? And did we tell you the name of the game, boy? We call it riding the gravy train.

See you at the show!

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