Icky Thumped: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Acade Fire

I'm going to Austin for the Austin City Limits Festival this weekend. I always hate calling these multiple day concerts "festivals". Festivals? Really? To me the word "festival" conjures up images of balloon animals, zepolies( "fried dough" for you non mooks) and cheap beer tents. Hmm, actually that sounds pretty good. Even still, lets call it the ACL Concert.

The children were right to be afraid

There will be no clowns at this festival concert.
I'm glad we got that squared away.

I've been pretty pumped about this event for weeks. The months of bad luck in fantasy baseball (how could I've dropped Ryan Braun on Opening Day!!) were all washed away when I found out I'd be getting free tix. The lineup is pretty sick...Wilco, Bloc Party, Bob Dylan, Arcade Fire, QOTSA, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, The Decemberists, and the White Stripes. Pretty much a walking talking Del mix cd.

My only issue was the Saturday dueling headliners. They scheduled Arcade Fire against the White Stripes. (Damn, why couldn't one of them have been scheduled against creepy Bjork! No such luck.) I had seen both bands before so I couldn't use that as a deciding factor. My love of Arcade Fire's album "Neon Bible" has gone well documented...however my weird crush on Meg White has largely gone unpublicized. Rightfully so...I mean how do you explain to people that you're in love with a pasty divorcee who can't keep a beat to save her life.

I love her and her Icky Thumps

The Bottom Line: The White Stripes could be matched up against a Zombie version of The Beatles...or a reunited Pink Floyd and I'd still lean towards Meg and Jack. Sorry Arcade Fire, Advantage: White Stripes.

Well, it looks like I'm going to be checking out the Arcade Fire instead as Meg has just bailed on me. On the plus side I'm not going to have to worry about that whole silly old restraining order issue!

Pitchfork says: Citing "medical reasons," the Stripes have cancelled their September 15 appearance at the ACL fest (according to an Austin360.com report), along with another gig the following night at Stubb's Bar-B-Q in Austin (according to Stubb's' website). We like to call this medical ailment, for which there is no known cure, Playing Against the Arcade Fire Syndrome (although the Stripes can hold their own better than most). "The White Stripes announced today that they are canceling their forthcoming tour due to health issues. Meg White is suffering from acute anxiety and is unable to travel at this time. "The White Stripes sincerely apologize to their fans. 'We hate to let people down and are very sorry.'

Acute Anxiety my ass! She must have read my shot at her drumming. (Baby, I didn't mean it...)

So....I guess I'll be seeing The Arcade Fire. Worse things could happen I suppose.**

Btw, I decided I'm going to bring my laptop and camera and I'll attempt to blog the three days. Keep checking to see if it actually comes to fruition.

**As a youngster I was made to go to a Billy Joel Concert with my family. My entire family had huge boners*** for Billy Joel. I never understood it. Of course I was rocking out to Snap's "The Power" at the time so who was I to judge. Billy Joel's Storm Front Concert @ Giant Stadium...in the rain. Fucking ironic torture. I told them to use the ticket on someone who'd genuinely appreciate the event. They didn't go for that.

*** huge boners = four sisters and a Dad who ALL owned the Billy Joel's greatest hits album. Some had it in the tape format , some had made the leap to the new and exciting world of cds...but they ALL had it. Fucking crazy. Why have FIVE copies of the same shitty ass music in the same damn house. Maybe if you bought five Billy Joel cds you got a free Michael Bolton 8 track or a Kenny G single...I'll never know.

It was impossible to avoid this Schmuck's face at LeFevre Lane. If I ever met this fucker I'd bash a "bottle of red, a bottle of white" over his god damn "back street guy" head.